Happiness Evangelist

The Place to Be Happy is Here…


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The SAY-DO Conflict

Image-The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.~ G B Shaw

Leaders are constantly being observed and watched, analysed and interpreted.

Every word said and every action taken is amplified, assessed and examined.

How then can we ensure that the right messages are being sent?

Albert Mehrabian in his book “Silent Messages”, talks about ‘The 7-38-55 Rule’.

In communicating attitudes and feelings:

  • 55% is in the facial expression (Body Language)
  • 38% is in the way words are said (Tone of Voice)
  • 7% is in the words that are spoken (Spoken Word)

When there is inconsistency between the three elements – body language, tone of voice & spoken word – the receiver will tend to rely more on the non verbal elements in determining the meaning of the message. “When actions contradict words, people rely more heavily on actions to infer another’s feelings.” says Prof. Mehrabian. It is therefore imperative that all the three elements support each other.

As leaders, we need to take a step back and re-examine the way we communicate in the light of ‘The  7% – 38% – 55% Rule’. We need to be aware that the meaning of our communication will be interpreted both by the words we use and in the way that we deliver our words. Unless our words, tone of voice, body language and more broadly our actions align, people will walk away conflicted.

Setting an example is the most powerful form of communication.

What we do speaks so loud that people cannot hear what we’re saying!

We are always communicating whether we mean to or not!

We are always sending a message!

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Celebrate the Moment

ImageDoes it seem that we are running from morning to night?

Always Running. Running. Running.

Do we have to do that?

Can we achieve our goals without running?

Are we running towards something?

Are we running away from something?

It is TIME to sslllllloooooooowwwwwww down…

And CELEBRATE THE MOMENT 🙂 

Please take 2 minutes to watch this video by Dr. Shyam Bhat, called The Running Man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=t62Za1BxmXQ#t=0

 


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Contentment is Great Gain

ImageThere once lived a King, who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.

One day, he found one of his servants, chirpy and singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a servant had so much joy.

The King asked the servant, ‘Why are you so happy?’

The man replied, ‘Your Majesty, my family and I don’t need too much – just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our stomachs.’

The king was not satisfied with that reply. He sought the advice of his most trusted advisor.

After hearing the King’s woes and the servant’s story, the advisor said, ‘Your Majesty, I believe that the servant is still not part of The 99 Club.’

‘The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?’ the King inquired.

The advisor replied, ‘Your Majesty, to truly know what it is, place 99 gold coins in a bag and leave it at the servant’s doorstep.’

When the servant saw the bag, he opened it and let out a great shout of joy… so many gold coins!

He began to count them. Multiple times of counting found him with only 99 coins.

Convinced that no one would have left 99 coins, he kept wondering about the 100th coin!

He looked everywhere, but that final coin was elusive.

Exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day on, his life changed. He became grumpy and angry. He stopped singing while he worked. He was upset that his family did not help in his search of the 100th coin.

He had officially joined THE 99 CLUB!!

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What about ourselves?

Are we always yearning and striving for that last coin, saying to ourselves ‘Let me find that one coin and then I will be happy for life’.

Or, are we content with what we have?

People want a lot of things in life. But most importantly they want happiness. Aristotle called it the chief good, the end towards which all other things aim. The paradox of happiness is that although the objective conditions of our life have improved dramatically, we haven’t got happier.

We can be happy with what we have…if we learn to be content with and in our everyday experiences…if we live in each moment believing they are intrinsically valuable than the elusive 100th coin.  


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Mind Full or Mindful?

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. This kind of attention nurtures greater awareness, clarity and acceptance of present-moment reality” says Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus and Founding Director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. He is credited with bringing meditation successfully into mainstream medicine.

Mindfulness involves paying careful attention to doing things correctly. Heedfully . Efficiently . Responsibly

ImageIn our world besieged with data and information, our ability to pay attention is in short supply. Daniel Goleman references this dilemma in his recent book: Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence.

He talks about three different types of focus:

  1. Inner Focus – to monitor our inner world rather than just be swept away by it
  2. Other Focus – to focus on the other person – we need to make an effort and cultivate the strength to detach ourselves from the distractions
  3. Outer Focus – to focus on the inter connections in the outside environment

Our “attentional skills are fundamentally under siege today…There are pingings and pop-ups and all kinds of sensory impingements on our attention that want to pull us away from what we’re trying to focus on”. If you walk into a restaurant or a floor at work, you see people sitting together, at the same table, staring at their phone, their tablet, their computer screen, or whatever it may be, but not talking to each other.

We’re together, yet, not together. “We’re alone together”.

Meditation helps in retraining attention to the point of focus and keeping it there. It is focus that is the key to a fulfilling life, that keeps us attuned to the goodness we experience every day, so that those experiences can contribute to a deeper sense of fulfilment or happiness.

Just for a few minutes, can we turn off our phones, walk away from that computer screen and talk to someone.

And when someone blesses us with the gift of their presence, let us honour it with the attention that they so very much deserve.

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Kindness Matters

What does it mean to BE KIND?

Is it innate?

Is it the right thing to do?

Does it matter at all?

How can one be kind to the unkind?

Do we make a big deal about living with kindness?

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The word “kind” is one of the oldest in the English language.

It originally meant “nature.”  Kind = nature! 

Kindness is natural, of nature.

The psychologist Blair Justice says:

Letting ourselves feel that sense of wonder that surrounds us every single minute is what elevates our hearts beyond a mechanical pump and turns them into instruments of love and kindness.

When we are are kind, we replenish our heart.

When we are kind, we go back to our human nature.

When we show kindness, especially in the face of unkindness, we are wielding the greatest power in the universe—our groundedness in nature. 

The connection between Kindness and Happiness is real. Studies in the Hebrew University, Jerusalem note that there is a link between kindness and a gene that releases dopamine, which is a chemical in the brain that makes us feel happy.

So, not only does kindness make the person on the receiving end feel good, it makes the person being kind feel good as well.

Let us create a CULTURE OF KINDNESS…

…to display kindness & concern for others.

..to be

     Caring.

     Thoughtful.

     Helpful.

…for Kindness has a way of reaching far beyond the original act of benevolence and morphing into something BIGGER.